Compassion

December 20, 2010

Introduction: What does compassion mean to you? Is it easy or difficult to define, and why? How much influence does compassion have on your day-to-day practices and activities? Why is compassion important?

To help explore the answers to these questions, I would like to use a deck of conversation cards provided by the Fetzer Institute. They were developed to help bring the power of love, forgiveness, and compassion to the center of individual and community life. The 52 cards are actually divided into each of those categories, with a quote on one side, and on the other, a topic for a discussion and something to do. (Depending on how they are received, we may explore the other two topics - love and forgiveness - similarly in the future.)

Highlights: Discussion opened with answers to the question, "What does compassion mean to you", which ranged from being empathetic, performing selfless deeds, etc.

We shared experiences of compassion from others. Many recounted times around loss of loved ones where others were genuinely compassionate in those times of grief. This reminded me of the card with the quote:

"Only other wounded people can understand what is needed, for the healing of suffering is compassion, not expertise."

- Rachel Naomi Remen in Kitchen Table Wisdom

The suggested discussion on the card was: "How do painful experiences affect your capacity to be compassionate toward others?" The activity was: "Observe, without judgment, how you react to your own and others' suffering today."

The next card had the quote:

The greatest distance in the world is the 14 inches from our minds to our hearts"

- Agnes Baker Pilgrim in Ode Magazine 

The suggested discussion on the card was: "Share an experience when you listened to your mind over your heart. When should you listed to your heart? Your mind?" It was shared that reactions may not be compassionate, and it's often only realized after the fact. The activity was: "List some recent situation s when your heart or mind dictated your actions. Note how you can allow your heart to lead more of your actions.

At this point, discussion was already running over time, so I shared three more quotes:

"When people shine  alight on their monster, we find out how similar mos of our monsters are... When people let their monsters out... it turns out that we've all done or thought the same things, htat this is our lot, this is our condition."

- Anne Lamott in Bird by Bird

"True compassion is born of the truth that we are one; that separateness is an illusion; that we are infinite beings... From this place of deep humility, we can draw limitless strength, and endless compassion."

- Erin Piatt on Charter for Compassion site

"I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees. I speak of rthe trees for the trees have no tongues."

- The Lorax in The Lorax by Dr. Seuss

The Charter for Compassion was read aloud in parts; commitments to compassion were offered on slips of paper that were chosen by the participants; and take-aways were shared.

PONG and compassion

Jess led a discussion on compassion Monday night and one person said that perhaps we should make compassion one of our main guidelines and focal points. I agree! Let's commit to compassionate living! :) I know I can be more compassionate in my daily life, especially with people who are hard to get along with or with situations that are frustrating or upsetting.

Thanks, Jess!

Everyday Fear

December 13, 2010

Introduction: Usually, fear is associated with bodily harm or danger to oneself (or another), or more extreme cases of anxiety such as phobias. But there are other common fears that affect our day-to-day decisions and how we react when faced with something unexpected; and they have little or nothing to do with physical danger or extreme anxiety.

For the discussion, think about the types of decisions you make on a day-to-day basis; does some level of fear influence your decision?
Have you experienced fear over something happening, only it never comes to pass?

We will discuss your examples and talk about where we think these fears originate, then see how they apply to present reality.
We may discover how examining our fears might allow us to gain an understanding of ourselves, what is truly important, and even as a way to practice love and acceptance.

Highlights: The discussion opened with a statement that the intent is not to overcome our fears, but to attempt to objectively examine them for what they are so that a conscious choice can be made about what to do about the experience of fear, if anything.

The Wikipedia article on fear was referenced to for the opening definition, list of common fears, and an explanation of the difference between External and Internal fears.

Five contemplations were shared to demonstrate that some of the things we fear are inevitable.

A story was shared about how a child fearing rejection from a step-father tapped into the power of fear and turned it into something else. The child decided to see this father as the only father they had, which led to a fulfilling, accepting, and loving relationship.

Fear isn't inherently good or bad, but our experience is often negative. Instead of saying or thinking "I'm afraid" and seeing it as part of you, realize that you are experiencing fear and you have a choice of action or inaction. Sometimes, you may discover that your fear is based around a conscious thought (an internal fear).

The body is a reliable source of information, and can often be listened to when trying to determine what action to take when experiencing fear. Of course, when something happens that causes the survival reflexes to kick in, there is little time for conscious thought, and the body simply takes over.

Expressing your fears to someone safe, who will not judge or hold it against you, can be an effective way to cope with fear.

Thich Nhat Hanh's thoughts on being present while planning were shared as a reminder to not lose ourselves in the fear and uncertainty of the future.

Welcome

This blog was created to publicly share weekly group discussions of the Power of Now Group. Initially intended to focus on the teachings of Eckhart Tolle, over the years the participants have included a variety of personal development and spiritual growth topics.