Everyday Fear

December 13, 2010

Introduction: Usually, fear is associated with bodily harm or danger to oneself (or another), or more extreme cases of anxiety such as phobias. But there are other common fears that affect our day-to-day decisions and how we react when faced with something unexpected; and they have little or nothing to do with physical danger or extreme anxiety.

For the discussion, think about the types of decisions you make on a day-to-day basis; does some level of fear influence your decision?
Have you experienced fear over something happening, only it never comes to pass?

We will discuss your examples and talk about where we think these fears originate, then see how they apply to present reality.
We may discover how examining our fears might allow us to gain an understanding of ourselves, what is truly important, and even as a way to practice love and acceptance.

Highlights: The discussion opened with a statement that the intent is not to overcome our fears, but to attempt to objectively examine them for what they are so that a conscious choice can be made about what to do about the experience of fear, if anything.

The Wikipedia article on fear was referenced to for the opening definition, list of common fears, and an explanation of the difference between External and Internal fears.

Five contemplations were shared to demonstrate that some of the things we fear are inevitable.

A story was shared about how a child fearing rejection from a step-father tapped into the power of fear and turned it into something else. The child decided to see this father as the only father they had, which led to a fulfilling, accepting, and loving relationship.

Fear isn't inherently good or bad, but our experience is often negative. Instead of saying or thinking "I'm afraid" and seeing it as part of you, realize that you are experiencing fear and you have a choice of action or inaction. Sometimes, you may discover that your fear is based around a conscious thought (an internal fear).

The body is a reliable source of information, and can often be listened to when trying to determine what action to take when experiencing fear. Of course, when something happens that causes the survival reflexes to kick in, there is little time for conscious thought, and the body simply takes over.

Expressing your fears to someone safe, who will not judge or hold it against you, can be an effective way to cope with fear.

Thich Nhat Hanh's thoughts on being present while planning were shared as a reminder to not lose ourselves in the fear and uncertainty of the future.